Nobody AIM
by GotxItxMemorized
Summary: What happens when you give members of organization XIII a computer? You get AIM accounts! Join them on their journeys...Xemnas discovers the true meaning of his name, Roxas gets whooped, burritos are on sale at Taco Bell, and Kevin Laroche stumps Saix.
1. Vexeh Pwns

-PyroFreak has entered the room.-  
-bhk145 has entered the room.-

PyroFreak: Did you see what happened to Vexy today?

bhk145: nah. whadid you do?

PyroFreak: moi? nothing! demykins had a little run in the lab, tho :)

bhk145: lol

PyroFreak: lol

bhk145: what did vexeh say?

PyroFreak: why don't you ask demykins? hold on.

bhk145: lol i'll get vexeh!1

-Waterboy77 has entered the room.-  
-ShardsofIce has entered the room.-

PyroFreak: So tell me, what exactly happened, waterboy?

Waterboy77: it wuznt mi fault!

PyroFreak: oh. Of course it wasn't. excuse me.

ShardsofIce: I will not listen to your incessant rambling.

bhk145: then y did u accept the invite? Lol

PyroFreak: good one lol

ShardsofIce: I accepted the invite _solely_ because I was bored.

bhk145: sur! tahs y ur here, right? cuz ur _bored_.

ShardsofIce: WHY YOU LITTLE TWIT!

PyroFreak: lol. you got him angry, bhk.

Waterboy77: -still here- ur gonna get it nowz!1

ShardsofIce: That's it. I'm coming to your room.

-ShardsofIce has left the room.-

bhk145: crp

PyroFreak: LOL ya better run

bhk145: ttyl

-bhk145 has left the room.-

Waterboy77: well it lukz like just me and u

-PyroFreak has left the room.-

Waterboy77: hello?

Waterboy77: …

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You have entered "Superior's Council Meeting".  
-Kingdom-Hearts has entered the room.-  
-SniperDude has entered the room.-  
-Stabbity4123 has entered the room.-  
-ShardsofIce has entered the room.-  
-EarthRocks has entered the room.-  
-MindGames has entered the room.-  
-xXLunarXx has entered the room.-  
-PyroFreak has entered the room.-  
-Waterboy77 has entered the room.-  
-TripleAce has entered the room.-  
-flowerpower has entered the room.-  
-SuckItUp has entered the room.-

Kingdom-Hearts: I hereby call order to our first online meeting.

PyroFreak: Who decided it to be online anywayz?

Waterboy77: Hiya!

SniperDude: That would be me, Axel.

Stabbity4123: Can we get on with this?

MindGames: Please.

Kingdom-Hearts: Yes. I do believe we may begin.

Kingdom-Hearts: As many of you know, we have had a certain "issue" with our dress code that has come to my attention.

PyroFreak: It sucks.

xXLunarXx: That's no way to talk to Superior, Axel.

Waterboy77: Ooh! Burn!

EarthRox: If we could continue…?

SuckItUp: I doubt it.

flowerpower: Like, OMG! We should so totally have pink outfits. Maybe a flower or two. Or tuxidos…

Kingdom-Hearts: …no.

Kingdom-Hearts: Moving on. Certain members have been vandalizing our uniforms with certain logos or patterns.

EarthRox: …Axel.

PyroFreak: WHAT?

xXLunarXx: Oh for god's sake. We all know that you have been spray painting our coats with flames and obscene phrases. This must stop.

PyroFreak:P

SuckItUp: OH grow up.

Stabbity4123: Has anyone seen Roxas?

PyroFreak: LOL

Waterboy77: LOL

TripleAce: What happened this time?

Waterboy77: Vexeh pwned! XD

Kingdom-Hearts: Vexen?

ShardsofIce: Nothing, really, Superior. Roxas just had a little run in with me earlier this morning.

SniperDude?

ShardsofIce: He ran into my shield…

ShardsofIce: …ten times…

PyroFreak: XD OMG rofl

Waterboy77: XD

MindGames: Oh my god.

Kingdom-Hearts: Very well then. I herby declare that this meeting is now over.

-Kingdom-Hearts has left the room.-  
-SniperDude has left the room.-  
-Stabbity4123 has left the room.-  
-ShardsofIce has left the room.-  
-EarthRocks has left the room.-  
-MindGames has left the room.-  
-xXLunarXx has left the room.-  
-PyroFreak has left the room.-  
-TripleAce has left the room.-  
-flowerpower has left the room.-  
-SuckItUp has left the room.-

Waterboy77: y am i alwayz the last one left?

-Waterboy77 has left the room.-

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PyroFreak: Roxy? Yeh there?

bhk145: yeah i'm here

PyroFreak: you ok, dude? vexeh sounded pretty bad ;)

bhk145: shut up

PyroFreak: heh. just saying.

PyroFreak: hey, guess what superior found out today!

bhk145: wat?

PyroFreak: you take the "x" out of our names and scramble the letters to get our other's name.

bhk145: cool

PyroFreak: LOL. not really.

bhk145??

PyroFreak: well…

PyroFreak: Axel Lea x, Roxas Sora x, Zexion Ienzo x, xemnas …

bhk145: wat

PyroFreak: use your imagination.

bhk145: OMG. Oo

PyroFreak: XD exactly what superior said, too.

bhk145: thats yaoi

PyroFreak: LOL.

PyroFreak: darn…g2g. luxord's found my stash of fritos again.

bhk145: cya l8r?

PyroFreak: mhm. lunch at taco bell. BOR-RI-TOS!


	2. Akuroku

bhk145: zexion?

MindGames: …yes?  
bhk145: you seen axel? he wuznt in his room when i checked

MindGames: What would it mean to you if I knew where Axel was? He's always doing _something_ that's against the rules, which you should know by now.

bhk145: yesturday he said he wuz gonna go to taco bell with me n he never did! u think sumthings up?

MindGames: Why don't you IM him and ask him yourself?

bhk145: bcuz hes not

bhk145: oh nvrmnd. thx anyway

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bhk145: axel wats wrong

PyroFreak: What are you talking about, Roxy?

bhk145: you didnt go to taco bell with me yesturday

PyroFreak: OH. That. Well…let's just say that luxord and my fritos don't mix, and demykins is allergic to more things than you would know.

bhk145????  
PyroFreak: sigh luxord, busy eating mah fritos, failed to notice as demykins stole a handful of fritos from my dresser. he got this giant purple zit on his face and vexeh had to clean him up ;)

bhk145?!  
PyroFreak: i kno

bhk145: since when do u keep fritos in ur dresser?  
PyroFreak: beyond the point.

-MindGames has entered the room.-

MindGames: HELLO? STILL HERE!  
bhk145: i found axel

MindGames: I realize.

PyroFreak: yo zexy

MindGames: I must ask you not to call me "Zexy", Axel.

bhk145: y? it's a perty name

PyroFreak: XD  
bhk145: XD  
MindGames: Oh, ha ha. I might have to resort to some evil methods if you don't stop.

PyroFreak: Whatever you say, Zexy.

bhk145: lol zexy

MindGames: I'm serious. I'll have to resort to _Akuroku_.

bhk145??  
PyroFreak: Oo You wouldn't!  
MindGames: XD I would.

bhk145: wats akuroku?

PyroFreak: Nothing you should know about.

MindGames: Diluted fangirls.

bhk145: ohkay…g2g now…

MindGames: But I was just about to read an AkuRoku fanfic!  
PyroFreak: THEY HAVE FANFICS?  
bhk145: bi

-bhk145 has left the room.-

MindGames: Crp. I was just about to show him a picture.

PyroFreak: THEY HAVE PICTURES?

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LOL. Sorry I didn't write a comment on the other one, way too busy. Too many websites to keep up with! I hope you all liked it. Tune in for the next chapter! Rate and review please!


	3. Kevin Laroche

ShardsofIce: Hello, Lexaeus.

EarthRocks: Hello, my good friend. Is something a matter?

ShardsofIce: Hardly. I have a few free minutes before I must attend to Axel and Roxas. Demyx, also, if you would believe it.

EarthRocks: What exactly happened?

ShardsofIce: Apparently, there was a sale at Taco Bell.

EarthRocks: Oh god.

ShardsofIce: Exactly. And Demyx had one too many fritos.

EarthRocks: I tell you, we must stop recruiting these…these…

ShardsofIce: Morons?  
EarthRocks: Not strong enough a word, my friend.

ShardsofIce: —Excuse me, Lexaeus. Zexion is trying to blow up my lab.

EarthRocks: Be over in a few.

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PyroFreak: hey buddy

bhk145: im never talking to you again

PyroFreak: y? i didn't do anything!

bhk145: "theres a sale at taco bell, roxas. we have to go, roxas."

PyroFreak: hey, you were the one that wanted to go in the first place. It isn't my fault that burritos are on sale this week.

bhk145: mah stomach…

PyroFreak: suck it up

bhk145: whatevs.

bhk145: wait…here comes marluxia

-flowerpower has entered the room.-

flowerpower: Hey guyz, whats up?

PyroFreak: XD

bhk145: XD

flowerpower: wat?

PyroFreak: "flowerpower"?

bhk145: you sound like a girl, mar

PyroFreak: that's becuz he is a girl, isn't that right, marly-kun?

flowerpower: My name is Marluxia, and im not a girl!1

bhk145: whatevs

flowerpower: hey did you guys hear what happened at vexen's lab?

PyroFreak: no…

flowerpower: LOL zexion blew up his latest experiment

bhk145: the one with the groundhogs?

flowerpower: yeah

PyroFreak: hold on…i'll go invite him…

-MindGames has entered the room.-

MindGames: …yes?

bhk145: wat happened at vexehs lab

flowerpower: comon, tell us!

MindGames: Fine.

MindGames: Vexen tried to use me as a test-run for his experiment.

bhk145: the groundhog experiment?

MindGames: Yeah. He tried to make me drink this disgusting green stuff with a purple swirl in it. Later he said it was poison…

bhk145: …

flowerpower: LOL

bhk145: axel…

PyroFreak: …yes, roxy?

bhk145: didn't we drink a disgusting green potion?  
PyroFreak: Oo

MindGames: LOL  
flowerpower: AXEL?  
PyroFreak: g2g

bhk145: to vexehs lab!1

-PyroFreak has left the room.-

-bhk145 has left the room.-

flowerpower: whatever. cyal8r, zexy!

-flowerpower has left the room.-

MindGames: This is an excellent time to check up on my good friend Saix, then.

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MindGames: Saix?

xXLunarXx: Yes, Zexion?

MindGames: I don't know. Just bored.

xXLunarXx: Could you please take your childish games somewhere else?

MindGames: Oh, don't be _that_ way, Saix. I know you want to play.

xXLunarXx: Zexion—

MindGames: Why can't Kevin Laroche, who is now living in Canada, not be buried in the USA?

xXLunarXx: Well, obviously, it's because

MindGames: Yes?  
xXLunarXx: Because

MindGames: I KNEW IT!  
xXLunarXx: I WILL GET IT!  
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PyroFreak: Hey, Saix, can I borrow your moped?

xXLunarXx: D-MN KEVIN LAROCHE!

PyroFreak: Rightio then…see you…

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Waterboy77: REMATCH!

TripleAce: Look, Demyx…I've beaten you at poker seventeen times. Can we call it a day?

Waterboy77: not until i win

TripleAce: I'M THE GAMBLER OF FATE, YOU IDIOT! OF COURSE YOU WON'T WIN!

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Lol. Please excuse my insanity. I can't help but like burritos. Just so you know, the ending part is later when Saix is _still_ working on that riddle. XD R&R!

Oh, and to Kevin Laroche—

I'm sorry. I really am.


	4. Bad Hair Day

Before fic chat time! More on Kevin Laroche this time…(don't really know who he is…people are starting to ask me that…)! I wonder how Saix will handle this. Oh…and Axel has a bad hair day. Enjoy! R&R!

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TripleAce: Have you seen Saix?

EarthRocks: No…

TripleAce: Good.

EarthRocks: …excuse me, Luxord?  
TripleAce: He's been obsessing over a man from Canada, apparently; he destroyed my room in the process of finding the answer to some riddle…

EarthRocks: Zexion.

TripleAce: Exactly what I thought _until_ I found Zexion unconscious in Vexen's lab…he couldn't have been the one to tell Saix that riddle…

EarthRocks: I'll get Vexen. He'll know what happened.

-ShardsofIce has entered the room.-

ShardsofIce: Yes?  
EarthRocks: We were just wondering, my friend, if Zexion was ever in your lab…?

ShardsofIce: Yes—well, no. Not exactly.

TripleAce: What?  
ShardsofIce: Apparently it had been a clone of himself, the real Zexion was somewhere in his room…IMing I would guess.

TripleAce: Oh my god.

TripleAce: I have to go…

-TripleAce has left the room.-

ShardsofIce: I am guessing you are no longer in need of my service?

EarthRocks: No, I am not. Thank you, Vexen.

ShardsofIce: Anytime. And if you see Demyx, tell him to come down to the lab for me, please.

-ShardsofIce has left the room.-

EarthRocks: Odd, Demyx has just popped up on my buddy list…

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EarthRocks: Demyx, Vexen has requested you to come down to his laboratory.

Waterboy77: y?

EarthRocks: I haven't the slightest idea. What did you do now?  
Waterboy77: probs bcuz i forgot to do hisshopping

EarthRocks: …hisshopping?

Waterboy77: his shopping

EarthRocks: As in groceries?

Waterboy77: yeh

EarthRocks: Why exactly did he need you to go shopping?

Waterboy77: sumthing about axels hair

Waterboy77: shoot i gotta go

-Waterboy77 has left the room.-

EarthRocks: …What?

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bhk145: howz ur hair?

PyroFreak: shut up

bhk145: lol

PyroFreak: I SAID SHUT UP

bhk145: whatevs…wut happened neway?

PyroFreak: I was having a bad hair day...mah hair wouldn't stick up like it usually (and naturally) does. I wanted to use demykins's hair gel…except the idiot used it all. I went to Xiggy-kun's room to see if he had any…

bhk145: …and?

PyroFreak: he did…I'm allergic to it, though…so I turned red and my hair flopped down again… :(

bhk145: XD

-PyroFreak has left the room.-

bhk145: axel?

bhk145: i didn't mean it!1

bhk145: realy!1

bhk145: sumbody?

bhk145: nebody?

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xXLunarXx: I finally got it!

MindGames: Got what?

xXLunarXx: The riddle, you idiot.

MindGames: Oh, the one with Kevin whats-his-face?

xXLunarXx: LAROCHE!  
MindGames: Whatever. What's the answer, then?  
xXLunarXx: He can't be buried in America because he can't afford the GAS PRICES! OH! WHAT NOW?  
MindGames: This…is sad.

xXLunarXx: That's not the answer?

-MindGames has left the room.-

xXLunarXx: IS THAT THE ANSWER OR NOT!  
xXLunarXx: ZEXION! As I have a higher rank, I COMMAND YOU TO TELL ME THE ANSWER! COMMAND!

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Waterboy77: hi-o saix…axel said you had a moped and I wuz wonderin

xXLunarXx: Do you know a Kevin Laroche?

Waterboy77: exqueeze meeh?

xXLunarXx: I'm calling a council meeting.

Waterboy77: yeh…right…so about that moped

xXLunarXx: No.

-xXLunarXx has left the room.-

Waterboy77: D-MN KEVIN LAROCHE…WHOEVER YOU ARE!

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flowerpower: hey xaldy…whats up?

Stabbity4123: how many times must I ask you not to call me Xaldy?

flowerpower: at least one more time, xaldy XD

Stabbity4123: Whatever. What do you want?

flowerpower: Have you seen Xiggy?

Stabbity4123: No, I have not seen 'Xiggy'. Why?  
flowerpower: he shot my flowers  they all have holes in them

flowerpower: its not fair

Stabbity4123: he is a higher number than you are…ever consider that?

flowerpower: whatevs. I think I'll poison him…vexen always has extra…

Stabbity4123: Extra! What do you mean!

flowerpower: look at the time…got to go…

-flowerpower has left the room.-

Stabbity4123: Oh god.

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xXLunarXx: can I have a hint?

MindGames: A hint…?

xXLunarXx: give me the scoop on Kevin

MindGames: er…

MindGames: Well…he…uh…lives in Beverly Hills…with his wife. They don't have children. Yeah. And…they have a dog. His name is…Jeff. And he only eats burritos. Kevin's job is a construction worker.

xXLunarXx: Thanks! I'll go get to work on that riddle now…

-xXLunarXx has left the room.-

MindGames: What…an…idiot.

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So there it is! Eh…not as funny as the others…and yes, I am still obsessed with burritos. Thanks! R&R (man, how many times do I say that?)!

Yer friend,

GotxItxMemorized


	5. Moogle TCG

Hiya, readers! What's going on? I've decided to add a little more characters in this one…-evil smile-…AHA! For all those who don't know what a TCG is (I didn't)…it's a trading card game.

Readers should not be mad at me this chapter for:  
Including the "Golden Trio".

Picking on Demykins again.

Implying that Reno is Axel's other…(hey, it could work!)

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bhk145: Another boring day in the life of a nobody.

PyroFreak: boring? as if

bhk145: do tell

PyroFreak: XD demykins failed on his mission again

bhk145: whadid he do this time

PyroFreak: all he _needed_ to do was find Sora…but apparently that was too hard for him…he got lost in the Pride Lands :)

bhk145: aww demykins as a cute widdle neko!

PyroFreak: xiggy had to go and rescue him ;)

bhk145: ohs! hes gonna get it nowz

PyroFreak: eh. it's Sora's fault anywayz…the brat always has to be so _heroic_ and _modest_…

bhk145: XD

bhk145: hey! wait…ur talking bout my other, man!

PyroFreak: whoops. must have slipped my mind.

-Keyblademastah has entered the room.-

Keyblademastah: Is this the chat for Moogle TCG battles?

PyroFreak: XD

bhk145: XD

Keyblademastah: You aren't Riku and Kairi!

bhk145: no duh

PyroFreak: gah, so we aren't.

-Keyblademastah has left the room.-

PyroFreak: what a lame-o.

bhk145: u kno it

bhk145: hey…wait! ur talking about MY other again!  
PyroFreak: -snigger-

-PyroFreak has left the room.-

bhk145: Yeah, well…RENO SUCKS!

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Sniperdude: Hey, Larxene.

SuckItUp: What's your problem?

Sniperdude: Er—just wanted to say that Superior's holding another council today. We couldn't find you earlier, and I was sent out to look for you.

SuckItUp: Then why didn't you look for me?

Sniperdude: …because you popped up on my buddy list…

SuckItUp: Oh, ha ha. You went to your room to check your _buddy list_ before looking for a missing organization member?

Sniperdude: I found you, didn't I?

Sniperdude: Uh oh. The meeting's starting. Got to go.

SuckItUp: -sigh- Coming.

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You have entered "Superior's Domain".

-Kingdom-Hearts has entered the room.-

-Sniperdude has entered the room.-

-Stabbity4123 has entered the room.-

-ShardsofIce has entered the room.-

-EarthRocks has entered the room.-

-MindGames has entered the room.-

-xXLunarXx has entered the room.-

-PyroFreak has entered the room.-

-Waterboy77 has entered the room.-

-TripleAce has entered the room.-

-Flowerpower has entered the room.-

-SuckItUp has entered the room.-

-bhk145 has entered the room.-

Kingdom-Hearts: Thank you for all arriving in the fashion we discussed (going down the list of members). I have called this meeting today for several reasons. Reason number one: I have been informed that Axel is _still_ spray painting our coats. This must stop, number eight.

PyroFreak:)

Kingdom-Hearts: Reason number two: I have been informed that Sephiroth's birthday is coming up. We shall throw a surprise party for him when he will least expect it.

Stabbity4123: Xemnas, are you sure that this is such a good idea?

Kingdom-Hearts: Positive, number three.

Kingdom-Hearts: And lastly, the fact that one of our members has been elusively trying to solve a riddle that number six told him.

PyroFreak: XD

bhk145: XD

MindGames: XD

ShardsOfIce: What now?

Kingdom-Hearts: Zexion?

MindGames: I told Saix this stupid riddle—still can't get it, can you, Saix?

xXLunarXx: D-mmit, Zexion! Just tell me the ANSWER!

EarthRocks: This is interesting.

TripleAce: Lol…

Kingdom-Hearts: The riddle, if you please?

MindGames: Why can't Kevin Laroche, who is now living in Canada, not be buried in the USA?

Waterboy77: whoz Kevin laroche?

SuckItUp: None of your business, twerp.

Waterboy77: TTTT how could you!

Kingdom-Hearts: Nobodies, please! Saix, the answer to the riddle is

-Keyblademastah has entered the room.-

Keyblademastah: Is THIS the chat for Moogle TCG battle?

PyroFreak: XD

bhk145: XD

Waterboy77: i dont get it

Keyblademastah: D-mmit, Riku! That was NOT funny!

-Keyblademastah has left the room.-

Kingdom-Hearts: That was…odd.

Kingdom-Hearts: Alas, I must adjourn this meeting. I have business to attend to. You are all free to go.

flowerpower: thank god. that was getting boring!

-PyroFreak has left the room.-

-bhk145 has left the room.-

-Stabbity4123 has left the room.-

-TripleAce has left the room.-

-SuckItUp has left the room.-

-Sniperdude has left the room.-

-EarthRocks has left the room.-

-ShardsofIce has left the room.-

-Waterboy77 has left the room.-

-MindGames has left the room.-

-flowerpower has left the room.-

-Kingdom-Hearts has left the room.-

xXLunarXx: Wait! Superior! WHAT IS THE ANSWER?

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Sniperdude: Demyx?

Waterboy77: yes, Xigbar?

Sniperdude: What have I told you…ten times is it now?

Waterboy77: A mission is a mission, regardless of which nobody is doing it.

Sniperdude: Correct. And _you_ have yet to complete a mission, do you realize that?

Waterboy77: Yes.

Sniperdude: Okay, good. From now on I'm putting you on dusk patrol.

Waterboy77: DUSK PATROL! Oh, come on, Xigbar! Isn't that Saix's job?

Sniperdude: Nah, Saix can't do it. Something about a 'Kevin Laroche'…

Waterboy77: What about Axel?

Sniperdude: Taco Bell.

Waterboy77: Roxas?

Sniperdude: -snort- With Axel, of course.

Waterboy77: Zexion?

Sniperdude: Helping Saix with the riddle. This isn't the point, Demyx. You have to be punished.

Waterboy77: Aw, common!

Sniperdude: You have the night shift. 9pm to 4 am. Have a good night!

-Sniperdude has left the room.-

Waterboy77: its official. i hate kevin laroche.

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Keyblademastah: That was so not cool, Riku.

-Blindedbydarkness-: Yesh it was! You should've seen the look on ur face…

pRettYpRINcesS: That was, like, so uncool, Riku.

-Blindedbydarkness-: You guys are just a bunch of party poopers.

Keyblademastah: Whatevs, riku. I'm going with kairi to destiny islands, wanna come?

-Blindedbydarkness-: Nah…I can't…I'm going somewhere tonight…

pRettYpRINcesS: got a date, riku?

-Blindedbydarkness-: no…I heard there's a sale at taco bell :)

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Lol. I have so much fun writing these…it's kinda sad. Maybe Reno and Rude should be in the next one…? Eh. Whatever. Seph is…-evil smile- Rate and review!  
For the next chapter I want…FANART! (jk, jk. You don't have to do anything, really.)

-GotxItxMemorized


	6. He is ALIVE!

Hey! I apologize…but I needed the first part of the story to be in 'normal story mode', aka no IM. Following it, however, will be the usual story format!! Oh…and at the end will be some more 'normal story mode'. R&R!!

Fans should not be mad at me for:

-Sephy…

-Reno and Rude hop in

-Saix…hehehe…

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_Augh!_ Sephiroth lunged at his foe from the silver-gray building that had so conveniently been relocated there by his powers recently. Cloud swiftly dodged the ever coming boulders and remnants of buildings that came his way as he ran towards his silver haired enemy. Sephiroth cackled, which he found quite absurd (however, due to the author's lack of vocabulary and interest in what exactly Sephiroth does before the main part of the story, he had to cackle). He was just about to insert his sword into Cloud's strong body when he heard an interesting sound. _Ring, ring, ring, RING!_

Cloud gave an annoyed look as Sephiroth raised his finger and turned to the cell phone in his pocket. He flicked the top open and read what was printed clearly on the front:

_Hey, Sephiroth! I'm text messaging you! Hehe…anyway, it's the organization! I'm only typing (Axel) cuz the others haven't figured out their cell phones yet…heh…well, the others say hi. Ow! Demyx…stop poking me…anyway, we text messaged you to say:  
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SEPHY!_

"_What?!_" Sephiroth exclaimed. Cloud took this point in time to his advantage, and in turn struck his sword into his opponent's dark coat (and into his chest). Sephiroth's eyes widened in fright and anger as the sword claimed his life. His last words, which were clearly heard over all of Midgar, were, "_XEMNAS!!_"

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Back at Organization XIII HQ in the World That Never Was, the members of the organization were gathered around Axel as he hit the _send_ button on his cell phone. He bore a cheesy grin as he looked up from his device at the other nobodies, who were also smiling. "Ya think he got our message?" he asked eagerly.

Zexion smirked. "Definitely."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------PyroFreak: wonder how sephy is doing…

PyroFreak: Roxy?

PyroFreak: u still mad about that whole 'other' thing?

bhk145: hes mah other, axel!!!

PyroFreak: I SAID SORRY!

bhk145: whatevs. anyway, I found a way to prove you wrong.

PyroFreak: …?

bhk145: axel, meet your other—reno.

PyroFreak: WHAT THE—

-xXxrENoxXx has entered the room.-

xXxrENoxXx: hey, yo.

PyroFreak: oh. my. god.

xXxrENoxXx: who's the stiff, yo?

bhk145: that is ur other reno

xXxrENoxXx: my what?

PyroFreak: it's like meeting a long lost brother…over IM…

xXxrENoxXx: right…well, if you guys don't mind I'd like to get out of here, yo.

PyroFreak: WAIT, DON'T GO! WE HAVEN'T EVEN GOT THE CHANCE TO _BOND_ YET!

-xXxrENoxXx has left the room.-

PyroFreak: look, now, roxy. u've scared him off.

bhk145: WUT?

PyroFreak: pfft. im going to zexehs room. HE understands me.

bhk145: but…axel…

-PyroFreak has left the room.-

bhk145: but…TT.TT

bhk145: -sniff- I think ill talk to vexeh

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bhk145: vexeh?

ShardsofIce: _How many times must I tell you not to call me 'Vexeh'!_

bhk145: sorry vexeh. wont do it again.

ShardsofIce: -sigh- Whatever. What do you want?

bhk145: axel doesn't like me anymore

ShardsofIce: Are you kidding me? You guys are best friends.

bhk145: i kno…ever since the chicken thing, right?

ShardsofIce: Ah…such a memorable day. Sora had to choke on his chicken burrito at Taco Bell, didn't he? It was just a coincidence that number eight was there to meet you.

bhk145: yeh…but now axel wont talk to me!

ShardsofIce: You know what? I'm going to go to Axel's room. Not because I feel bad for you, or anything like that—but because I know this will eventually hit me in the back with bad karma if I ignore it now.

bhk145: …right. he's in zexehs room

SharsdofIce: Okay. I will see you later, Roxas.

bhk145: bi

-ShardsofIce has left the room.-

bhk145: huh. alone again.

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xXxrENoxXx: THANK GOD you're on, Rude.

.ss—Shades—ss.: What now?

xXxrENoxXx: There were these two crazy guys that thought I was this guy's 'other'!

.ss—Shades—ss.: How odd.

xXxrENoxXx: I KNOW! And then he wanted to bond…or something…!

.ss—Shades—ss.: How awful.

xXxrENoxXx: Are you being sarcastic again?

.ss—Shades—ss.: _No,_ Reno. _I'm_ not being _sarcastic_.

xXxrENoxXx: Good, that's what I thought.

xXxrENoxXx: Hey—wait!  
xXxrENoxXx: I'm going to Elena! SHE understands me!

-xXxrENoxXx has left the room.-

.ss—Shades—ss.: Oh god. I must warn Elena—

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MindGames: HEY, Saix-y…DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME?!

xXLunarXx: Zexion…? Is there something a matter?

MindGames: Zexion…?

MindGames: OH. Right. Zexion. Yeh…that's me…

xXLunarXx: Um…okay.

MindGames: I'm so sorry, Saix. That was Axel. He

MindGames: HIYA SAIX!

xXLunarXx: Would you two get a grip and choose who wants to type?!

MindGames: Tsk, tsk, tsk. That wasn't very nice, Saixy.

MindGames: Hehe…you know what that sounds like?

xXLunarXx: Don't.

MindGames: IT SOUNDS

MindGames: Sorry. I have just disposed of Axel…or rather Vexen has. Haha. You should have seen it.

xXLunarXx: What happened?

MindGames: He just beat him up…haha…oh god…

xXLunarXx: Zexion? ZEXION? What's wrong?

MindGames: Vexen is coming after me!

xXLunarXx: Wish I could help you, but…

MindGames: Anything! ANYTHING AT ALL!

xXLunarXx: The answer to the riddle.

MindGames: Oh god. You're _still_ working on that?

xXLunarXx: Beyond the point. Tell me the answer and I'll help you.

MindGames: Fine! The answer is …

xXLunarXx: …

xXLunarXx: YES?

MindGames: He can't be buried in America…because…

xXLunarXx: WHAT?

MindGames: -sigh- He's still alive.

xXLunarXx: …that is it?

MindGames: Yes. NOW GET VEXEN OUT OF HERE!

xXLunarXx: Hmm…oh, right.

MindGames: SAIX—oh. That was…quick.

xXLunarXx: Yes. Do you like the special touch?

MindGames: Vexen pinned to the wall by a giant weapon? Oh yes.

xXLunarXx: Good. Now I must celebrate the dawning of a new beginning…

MindGames: What?

xXLunarXx: Nothing.

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Later that evening (was it evening? The sky was always dark there.), loud noises could be heard from the lower hallway. Nobody heads peeked out of their rooms to inspect what was going on. Xaldin was the first to comment on the appalling sight before them. "Saix…"

The hall was decorated in a moon-based fashion, with stars and sculptures hanging off of every doorway. There was a large banner hanging in the middle of the hall. It read, 'HE'S STILL ALIVE!'. Odd. None of the other nobodies could tell quite what was going on, with the exception of Zexion, who paled. Saix was skipping down the halls, throwing flowers at everyone, and singing, "HE IS ALIVE!"

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Elena was in her office, typing away on her computer. She was working on a report that was due for Tseng later that afternoon. She sighed. _Tseng_. Even the name was beautiful.

She paused as a small message box came up on her window, labeled, 'Message from .ss—Shades—ss.' She opened it up with curiosity, and read the following message, "Elena—look out. He is coming." He? Who could _he_ be? Tseng? Oh god! She looked horrible! Elena ran over to the mirror to do her hair and makeup. She frantically flattened her hair and combed her fingers through it. She flashed a quick smile as she heard the doorknob on _her_ door turn. She turned around, smiling sweetly. The smile quickly grew into a frown.

"Aww…you dolled up just for _me_?" Reno exclaimed, rushing over to hug Elena.

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XD…man, I have so much fun with these. Please, rate and review! Btw…because I have over 1,000 hits now…you get a lame picture! Get up to two thousand and you get ANOTHER lame picture!!! Heh…b/c Xemmy's the first org member…hence ONE thousand hits…whatever. There is an underscore between kiwipaw and two. Just take out the spaces :) http / i58. photobucket .com / albums / g274 / kiwipaw two / scan – 1 . jpg


	7. Ben and Jerry's

Hey, readers! Sorry I haven't written in a while. I swear I'll be better! Swear! –shrinks back in fear of Saix and flamers-

Readers should not be mad at me in this chapter for:

Picking on Roxas _and_ Axel. I'm sorry. Axel is my fave! –hugs- Aww, but I like Zexeh too…and Vexen…and Demyx…slams fist against keyboard

Picking on Saix. Wow…I'm starting to sound mean…

Demykins…you'll see :)

Zexeh…hehehe…

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bhk145: u thinks it worked?????????

PyroFreak: it better have worked…i don't think i could have stood another 'surprise'…

bhk145: wut do u think he'll say when he sees his room?

PyroFreak: let's just say he wont be so worried about our friend Kevin anymore.

bhk145: hehe. now can we have the stake out?

PyroFreak: -sigh- yes. we can have the stake out.

bhk145: XD be over in five

PyroFreak: I'll get the fritos…

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EarthRocks: My god, did you hear what happened to Saix?

ShardsofIce: No. Do tell.

EarthRocks: Apparently, his room was covered in posters of Brittney Spears.

ShardsofIce: Dear nobody, that's wrong!

EarthRocks: That, my friend, is also what Saix said.

ShardsofIce: Do you think he'll be alright?

EarthRocks: I think it is for his own good to have a traumatic event. I know I have had enough of his so-called, 'surprises'.

ShardsofIce: I think everybody has, Lexaeus.

EarthRocks: I think I shall adjourn to my study for some time to myself. Please forgive me, Vexen. Shall it be a problem?

ShardsofIce: Not at all. Enjoy yourself.

ShardsofIce: By the way, Lexaeus—have you seen my bag of Fritos?

EarthRocks: I'm sorry, I haven't.

ShardsofIce: Ah, well. They'll turn up somewhere.

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MindGames: Yes, I'm sure! I had been relaxing in my room and they were GONE!

Kingdom-Hearts: That is rather odd. Are you sure they were _gone_?

MindGames: YES, they're _gone_.

Kingdom-Hearts: Who was the last person in your room? Besides you, number six.

MindGames: Come to think of it, it was you, Superior. What were you doing in there anyway?

Kingdom-Hearts: Er, I had to…get something for Xaldin.

MindGames: Right…

Kingdom-Hearts: Really! He asked me to get him some of that hair gel you have.

MindGames: One: I don't have hair gel. Two: Why would Xaldin need hair gel anyway? He has BRAIDS.

Kingdom-Hearts: Really? I thought they were dreadlocks.

Kingdom-Hearts: This is besides the point. Are you sure you checked twice for them?

MindGames: HOW COULD YOU MISS THEM?!

Kingdom-Hearts: True. They are rather large, aren't they?

MindGames: Yes.

Kingdom-Hearts: I wonder what anyone would want with them…

Kingdom-Hearts: More importantly, what would YOU want with them?

MindGames: As you said, that is besides the point.

MindGames: Besides, I would think everyone is desperate for one.

Kingdom-Hearts: Only one?

MindGames: Well, I must be well off, then. I have two.

Kingdom-Hearts: That you do.

Kingdom-Hearts: Wait…nobody would be desperate for one!

Kingdom-Hearts: Nobody would even remotely want them.

MindGames: Exactly. And I, being a Nobody, want them. Now help me FIND THEM!

Kingdom-Hearts: -sigh- Very well. I'll check to see if anyone has seen your giant containers full of Ben and Jerry's.

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PyroFreak: Man, those were good.

bhk145: u said it

PyroFreak: How long do you think it will take Vexeh to notice his fritos are gone?

bhk145: lol

bhk145: longer than it should

PyroFreak: LOL i can just see him now…

bhk145: me too

bhk145: aw cr-p

bhk145: got to go

PyroFreak: y?

bhk145: vexeh knows

PyroFreak: wut?

bhk145: HELP!

-bhk145 has left the room.-

PyroFreak: oh my…

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EarthRocks: I heard you found your delicious corn chips, Vexen.

ShardsofIce: That I have.

EarthRocks: Where were they?

ShardsofIce: Number thirteen. He tried to tell me some false story that number eight had taken them and eaten them, leaving the bag in his room.

EarthRocks: Imbecile.

ShardsofIce: Exactly what I thought, my friend, until I noticed there were no crumbs along the floor.

EarthRocks: So?

ShardsofIce: Roxas is a messy eater, number five. Haven't you noticed at mealtimes?

EarthRocks: Oh, I see. Maybe he was telling the truth?

ShardsofIce: I think he may have been.

ShardsofIce: Which means I will be off to see our good friend Axel.

EarthRocks: Alright, number four. Have a good day—er—night? Be well.

ShardsofIce: Ha ha. Thank you, Lexaeus.

-ShardsofIce has left the room.-

EarthRocks: God, does he care about his corn chips…

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Later that evening, when the moon was full and the stars were nonexistent, a small man looked at the castle that towered over him. It was a grand, white castle that seemed to loom over him. He slowly walked up the long path, feeling the shadows creep after him. They watched his every move as he came up the driveway. Another small man followed beside him, however was small for a different reason. This man was in fact a teenager, following the stout man up the path. They reached the door. The stout man gazed up at it, feeling its height mocking him. He reached over and tapped the door quickly. It made a loud 'boom' that echoed through his thoughts for several moments after.

Finally the door opened and a tall man with silver hair met their gaze with cold, hard eyes. "Yes?" he asked quietly, seeming to loathe the very sight of them.

The stout man gulped and looked to the teenager, who was looking at the outside of the castle. Turning back to the cloaked man, he said, "I—We w-were wondering if there w-was a boy called 'Demyx' here?" He shrank back as the man gave a deep laugh, amusement caught in his eyes. Behind him another man (who was much younger, in his teens…most likely nineteen) with spiky red hair peered at the three. He looked questionably at the silver haired man.

"Get Demyx, number eight," he spoke softly. The red head nodded, his eyes still glued to the two people standing outside of the castle. He turned around and headed up a grand staircase in search of this 'Demyx'.

Seconds later the silver haired man was joined by another man about his age with blue hair. "Xemnas…?" he asked the blue haired man.

_Ah, so that is his name!_ The stout man thought to himself with joy. The teenager was still looking around and sighing to himself. Both waited until a couple moments later when the person they were awaiting had arrived.

"Mr. Demyx?" the small man asked, looking up at the newcomer. He was wearing an uninterested look, which complimented his mullet well. He said a faint, 'Yeah'. The small man beamed and took out a clipboard, which he studied. "Now let's see here, we have a special surprise for you!" Demyx and Xemnas (the silver haired man) paled, remembering Saix's recent change in behavior.

The stout man, clearly not recognizing the change in skin color, gave the teenager beside him a small push. The teenager stumbled, glared at the man, and said, "Hi. I know this may sound weird, but I'm your stepbrother. I heard you were working here, so I came to find you."

Demyx's eyes sparkled with care. He leapt forward and hugged the young man before him, a single tear drifting down his face. "Brother…?"

The other teen started to cry as well, and both hugged for a couple of moments before Demyx spoke up again. "What's your name, then?"

Wiping tears from his eyes, the boy said, "Kevin."

Saix and Xemnas paled. Xemnas cleared his throat and asked, "You didn't happen to live in Canada, did you?"

Demyx's eyes went wide with shock as he heard his stepbrother's answer: "Why, yes! How did you know?"

Xemnas mumbled, "Lucky guess", and turned back to Saix, a look of worry on his face. Saix stared at the boy for a couple of moments, then smiled. Xemnas was terribly worried and afraid. Saix blinked, an evil smile creeping onto his face as he faced the teenage boy.

"Welcome to Castle Oblivion, Kevin."

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LOL. Man, I have good times in my imagination. You should come and join me…we could have some tea. I once tried pink tea. It was gross…anyway, hope you liked this chapter! R&R! Thankies much. OH, that's right. For getting to two thousand hits, you get ANOTHER lame picture!! I just have to find it...and upload it. However, you will get one!


	8. AXELS HIPS DONT LIE

Wow. I'll have you all know that I, very literally, died. I'm sorry I forgot to send out the funeral invites to all of the people who read this (obsessively…? I don't know). Well, I'm sorry, but I've been reincarnated. Or bitten. Let's just say I have sharper teeth now.

Anyway, here comes the next chapter just for you! My, don't you feel special? You and the other 3,945 people who read this. Well, haha, feel special for now, 'kay?

I just remembered that I have to give a few intros for this chapter. The first being a prologue:

Ever since Kevin Laroche had joined Organization XIII's rankings, Xemnas was confused and slightly hesitant to accept him as a nobody. Aside from the fact that Organization XIV sounded completely stupid, there was a slight issue with naming. Kevinx? Xevink? Vexink? None of the anagrams were suitable enough for the boy. Kevinroth? No—just no. Eventually the leader decided on a simple yet ingenious way of keeping Kevin in the house without naming, housing, or ranking problems: He was the new house pet.

Next, I have to give the usual routine.

PLEASE DO NOT FLAME ME IN THIS CHAPTER FOR:

Kevin. That says it all right there.  
Whatever other irreparable harm I cause the nobodies (kidding, kidding. Why would I harm poor Axel?)

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Waterboy77: eewwww he peed on my floor

PyroFreak: wth he's a guy too u kno. he uses EL BANO.

Waterboy77: is that like sweedish or something?

PyroFreak: Swedish, and no. That's Spanish you idiot.

Waterboy77: i kno sum Spanish

PyroFreak: like what

Waterboy77: Usted parece el burro de mi madre.

PyroFreak: …

PyroFreak: "You look like my mother's donkey"?

Waterboy77: i thought that was "i want a burrito"

PyroFreak: in some countries yes

-bhk145 has entered the room.-

bhk145: heeyyas whats up

PyroFreak: hey roxy

Waterboy77: hey

bhk145: was wonderin if you'd seen vexeh anywhere

PyroFreak: y would u need vexeh?

bhk145: dunno i was bored

Waterboy77: lol

PyroFreak: XD

bhk145: seriously

bhk145: nuthin2do

PyroFreak: well we could check on Kevvy

Waterboy77: awwwww its my turn to cook dinner cant come

PyroFreak: what do you mean its ur turn

PyroFreak: we don't have turns. xaldin always cooks

bhk145: .

Waterboy77: um

Waterboy77: i gotta go

-Waterboy77 has signed off.-

PyroFreak: OK

PyroFreak: still up for botherin vexeh?

bhk145: u kno it

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Sniperdude: Is it me or does the wind around here sound a lot like Vexen's screaming?

Stabbity4123: Huh. Weird.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kingdom-Hearts: Greetings, Lexaeus. How are you today?

EarthRocks: Fine, thank you. Yourself?

Kingdom-Hearts: Not so well. I've spent my entire day planning and scheming only to be interrupted by some very loud music coming from number nine's chamber.

EarthRocks: What exactly was the boy playing?

Kingdom-Hearts: It's not so much what he was playing, but what he was singing.

EarthRocks: Oh no. It couldn't be—

Kingdom-Hearts: Unfortunately it is.

EarthRocks: Oh, oh—I'm dearly sorry.

Kingdom-Hearts: Yes, trying to work in your study, planning on that bratty, snot-nosed teenager who wields the key and on universal domination, and suddenly—I hear the must inhuman sound known to man.

EarthRocks: No, there you might be wrong. Brittney Spears was also pretty bad.

Kingdom-Hearts: Yes, of course there you have a point. However I'm talking more around the boy-band factor.

EarthRocks: Anyway, Superior, I wouldn't worry that much. The chances of Demyx keeping up with these fashions (which, by no means, are fashions anymore) will be slight. He delves into a new band almost every hour.

Kingdom-Hearts: True, though I fear what his new band will be.

Kingdom-Hearts: Well, I must attend to my business.

EarthRocks: I suspected as much. Have a bleak day, Superior.

Kingdom-Hearts: As to you, Lexaeus.

Kingdom-Hearts: Wish me well. I'm going to go and discuss with Demyx the matter of belting out "Backstreet Boys" every time he's bored…

-Kingdom-Hearts has left the room.-

EarthRocks: That sick, twisted little musician.

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Stabbity4123: I see you're well enough to enter a chat room. How are you feeling, anyway?

ShardsofIce: That's not funny, Xaldin.

Stabbity4123: By no means did I say that was funny. Has it ever occurred to you that I might actually be curious and caring as to what your health is?

ShardsofIce: I'd say "no" seeing as we don't have any feelings.

Stabbity4123: Well, you might have to overlook that part of your research, Vexen. Or at least redo an experiment. If you've actually rethought the fact that Axel spent a lot of trouble looking for the Roxas boy then you might actually find you're wrong in that area.

Stabbity4123: Vexen? Are you still there?

ShardsofIce: Yes.

Stabbity4123: Why did it take you so long to reply?

ShardsofIce: I was simply too appalled by your reference to "yaoi".

Stabbity4123: GOODNESS, Vexen—don't you dare say that word again!

Stabbity4123: It's only the grandest thing we fear amongst all of the delusions of fangirls!

ShardsofIce: I'm sorry, Xaldin; I was just trying to knock some sense into you.

ShardsofIce: I can see it worked.

Stabbity4123: Never you mind, I'll be fine.

-k$$boi has entered the room.-

k$$boi: heyaz whats up

ShardsofIce: Hello, Kevin.

Stabbity4123: Hello. We're fine, thank you.

k$$boi: u seen demyx around

ShardsofIce: No, I don't think so.

Stabbity4123: Why are you looking for him?

Stabbity4123: Aside from the fact that you're his brother, and that you constantly like to be near him. I mean, earlier this morning he was playing some pretty awful music on his sitar.

k$$boi: im bored

k$$boi: maybe i will go find axel and roxxy they said they were gonna play a game

ShardsofIce: What sort of game?

Stabbity4123: Oh my god…

ShardsofIce: KEVIN! What sort of game?

k$$boi: dunno. sounds like fun tho

k$$boi: l8r

-k$$boi has signed off.-

Stabbity4123: If you like you can always hide out in the kitchens while I'm cooking.

ShardsofIce: Thanks. I'll meet you there in five.

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SuckItUp: LOLLLLLL zomg

TripleAce: What?

SuckItUp: Hehe. I just sent Axel a little something for his birthday XD

TripleAce: OK, first thing—you don't even _know_ his birthday.

TripleAce: Secondly, WHAT the heck did you send him?

SuckItUp: Nothing he wouldn't already know lol

TripleAce: Oh.my.god. You didn't send him—

SuckItUp: The one I found on youtube? OH yes.

TripleAce: Sweet mother of darkness.

SuckItUp: We'll just call it a little wake up call, huh?

TripleAce: LOL

TripleAce: I can't wait to see his face.

SuckItUp: I'm already hiding out with my laptop in the ceiling of his room.

TripleAce: Great. Be up in a minute.

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Axel, of course, never liked to be bored. Ever. It was unusual, in fact, if he was in his room reading one of the many stashed magazines (located under his bed). It was one of those weird things that happened, one of those interesting miracles if he was locked up, tired, or in anyway being held (against or with his will) in his room. This, unfortunately for the pyro, was one of those times. Of course it was against his will. Xemnas had caught him in the act of—_bothering_—Vexen and decided that a little alone time in his room would be the key. Well, not exactly after having caught him. Axel and Roxas were about to play a grandly schemed game when Superior caught them, sending each nobody to their rooms. Now the red head lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling and wondering why exactly he was stuck in this room (other than the obvious facts listed above). He could always teleport out, though that would definitely cause more punishment than he had first intended.

Instead the teen rolled over and sat on his back, looking around his room for something to do. He staggered over to the CD rack when a noise, an interesting one (much like a bird singing, or a small 'bleep' to signal that something was happening), sounded to his left. He tilted his head far enough to see his computer, which was flashing a brilliant red (yes, he changed its color scheme to fit his likings), sounding off the noisy and unwanted sound.

He growled to himself and stumbled over, taking a seat on the plush cushion of the rotating chair. He let out a yawn and clicked the 'ok' button on the pop-up message that said, "YOU HAVE MAIL." It brought him to a page creatively set up for Organization XIII email uses. I wouldn't email him, however. He deletes most of the messages as spam.

Anyway, Axel, moving his mouse to his new message in curiosity, blinked. The subject of the email was "BIRTHDAY SURPRISE". That scared him a little. He shrugged it off and opened the message. It had only a short message written on it:

_Axel,_

_Happy Birthday! I didn't get you anything this year, so I decided to send you this. It will really make your day. ;)_

_Larxene_

"OOOKKKKAAAAYYY," Axel said slowly, looking at the link that was below her message. He couldn't really tell what it was, save the fact that it was from a site he had never heard of called 'youtube'. He blinked and double-clicked on the link, wondering what it could possibly be.

His eyes widened considerably as he opened the page, the title stating boldly, "**AXEL'S HIPS DON'T LIE**".

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Sniperdude: Now the wind sounds like a mixture of a pyromaniac's twisted screams and two cruel nobodies' not-so-innocent laughter.

Stabbity4123: Interesting weather we're having today, right?

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Yay XD I actually finished it in one sitting. I wasn't sure I'd do that. Anyway, I hope you liked this wonderful chapter, creatively titled, "AXEL'S HIPS DON'T LIE". I love that youtube movie, you really should check it out. The one by "sunlitebreeze" by the way, the others are kind of—well, I like hers the best. :P Nice talking to you, I'll start the next chapter soon…

GotxItxMemorized


	9. Linda

>. ;; Seriously it's like every time I try to write these chapters I die over the course of a few months. Well, time to update, then. )

NOTE: I love POTC3! Is anyone else so excited that there are like NINE JACK SPARROWS! -le gasp- This is, no doubt, a very good day.

Please, please do not flame me in this chapter for:

- Something I can't say out loud without Vexen and Xaldin at my neck

- Other…fun things…

- Linda (Special thanks to naoko144! You will get more thanks later XD)

- Oh, and there are some more simple writing passages…sorry, my dears. :'(

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PyroFreak: OMG!

SuckItUp: what, axel -.-

PyroFreak: YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT I JUST SAW!!!

SuckItUp: try me…

PyroFreak: POTC3! And there are NINE Jack Sparrows!

SuckItUp: I hope you know you sound really gay

PyroFreak: that's not a nice word!

PyroFreak: GOODBYE

-PyroFreak has left the room.-

SuckItUp: …ok then…

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ShardsofIce: Have you seen Xaldin by any chance?

ShardsofIce: Anyone?

ShardsofIce: Hello?

-SuckItUp has entered the room.-

ShardsofIce: Larxene! Have you seen Xaldin?

SuckItUp: why?

ShardsofIce: I need to see him.

SuckItUp: about WHAT?

ShardsofIce: Can you keep a secret?

SuckItUp: sure -.-

ShardsofIce: Last night I…I had an intense burning in my chest…I don't think I have medical issues, it's more an issue of the heart…

SuckItUp: WTH

SuckItUp: Are you saying what I THINK you are saying?!

ShardsofIce: What do you think I am saying? ;)

SuckItUp: Ew…that is just, EW!

ShardsofIce: Fine, if that's how you feel…I'm going to find Xaldy on my OWN.

-ShardsofIce has signed off.-

SuckItUp: …!?

SuckItUp: Is it like, PMS day?!

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Kingdom-Hearts: It has come to my attention, Kevin, that something has…_infected_…the members of my ever-knowledgeable Vexen. In fact, the infection has seemed to have spread over to many of the other members.

k$$boi: liek wut infetion

k$$boi: infection

Kingdom-Hearts: It is something that I dare not call by name; the most feared weapon of delusional fan-girls (which I have most recently found that I have acquired some) has been unleashed upon us. I fear now may be the only time to rid ourselves of it and strike back.

k$$boi: . . .

Kingdom-Hearts: Did you get ANY of that?

k$$boi: yeah

k$$boi: Since when do you have fan-girls?

-SniperDude has entered the room.-

SniperDude: helluuuu!!

Kingdom-Hearts: …Xigbar?

SniperDude: yusss w

k$$boi: wtf

Kingdom-Hearts: Did you have any contact with Vexen or Xaldin…or Axel, to my knowledge…

SniperDude: mhmmm

SniperDude: in the kitchens 3

Kingdom-Hearts: And what, pray tell, were you doing in there?

SniperDude: cooking up a POT OF LOVE

SniperDude: OMG!

SniperDude: What Not To Wear is on!!!

SniperDude: -gasp- IT'S HAIR AND MAKEUP TIME!!!!!!!!

-SniperDude has signed off.-

k$$boi: dood…

k$$boi: liek…dood…

Kingdom-Hearts: I fear this has been taken to a whole new level.

Kingdom-Hearts: Organization XIII is no more. Organization…_Uke_.

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At the time it had seemed quite harmless, with the exception of Saix, to invite Kevin to the Organization as the pet of the family. They knew he wouldn't pee on the carpet (with the exception of Demyx, who really didn't seem to grasp the concept that his blue rug would be FINE), or spend time taking walks with them, or beg for a new chew toy (he had plenty, to the amusement of Axel), or even bite the butt of the mailman. They had considered taking him to "Mickey's Puppy Palace" to train him, however the idea, though good in several aspects, was rejected by Kevin himself. He seemed like the perfect human to have. _Seemed._

They did not know that Kevin would soon be reduced to a non-stop AIMer who would do nothing but browse random websites, email, and chat-speak his fingers off. They also did not know that Kevin would spend great deals of his time in chat rooms, meeting people who he had never even cared about in the prior weeks of his life (or thought about, for that matter). It did not strike them that Kevin would be a danger to their Organization or that he would slowly bring it all crashing to his feet, both of which were slowly beginning to happen in the dark, bleak world that was The World that Never Was (so, technically, it wasn't even a world at all. how depressing).

It was one day that Kevin came upon a chat room that wasn't particularly interesting, but wasn't that dull either. People were chatting about who-knows-what with who-knows-who who-knows-when. It was just a blah-fest where everyone was talking about their own poor soap-opera lives and expecting the sympathy that they never received from their pet goldfish Fluffy (that may have been where the problem started; who names a _goldfish_ 'Fluffy'?). It all seemed pretty safe until an unknown user, a user that would soon bring the Organization's end, privately messaged Kevin.

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k$$boi: um…hello?

rktHIGHWIND: I've got something you might want.

rktHIGHWIND: Something that will make your brother pay attention to you.

k$$boi: Cid?

k$$boi: Cid Highwind?

rktHIGHWIND: WTF!

rktHIGHWIND: WHY can everyone get my screenname so fast?!

k$$boi: dood. ur last name is highwind

rktHIGHWIND: But doesn't the "rkt" throw you off a bit?

k$$boi: isnt that rocket? dood you fly one

rktHIGHWIND: …damn you're good.

rktHIGHWIND: Anyway, are you still up for our little offer?

k$$boi: do i have 2g2 twilit twn do i??????????

rktHIGHWIND: …No.

rktHIGHWIND: Anyway, all you need to do is go to your front door and open the box that's there. Demyx will pay attention to you for sure.

k$$boi: but its not just demyx its axel 2

rktHIGHWIND: Okay, fine. Axel will pay attention to you too.

k$$boi: n wut about roxxy??

rktHIGHWIND: WHAT THE HELL!? Do you want every damn person to like you? Lemme drop you a hint…not even _SORA_ can pull that off and he's the freakin main character!

rktHIGHWIND: Just open the freakin box!

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And so, clueless, hopeless, pitiful Kevin opened the box as he was told.

That was the end of all sanity beforehand.

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Kingdom-Hearts: Roxas? Are you there?

bhk145: yeah

Kingdom-Hearts: I'd like you to join Larxene and I on our quest of daring adventure, life-saving, and the rescuing of poor, endangered souls.

bhk145: cant you ever say to meet u downstairs

Kingdom-Hearts: The latter isn't that cool.

bhk145: wutevr

Kingdom-Hearts: Anyway, we need to find out what has happened to our beloved Organization. Xaldin, Xigbar, Axel, and Vexen have all been infected.

bhk145: HOLY HELL!

Kingdom-Hearts: What is it Roxas? Do you have a hint as to what's going on?

bhk145: YEAH!

bhk145: THEY ALL HAVE 'X's IN THEIR NAMES!!!!!

Kingdom-Hearts: This may take a while.

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Xemnas, Larxene, and Roxas rushed around the castle. By this time they had already collected Axel and Xigbar, both of whom were utterly distressed to be taken away from their new favorite TV channel, TLC, and were heading down to the kitchens to find Xaldin and Vexen. They had no doubt that they would be involved in some grotesque way of cooking together (seeing as Xaldin was the Organization's chef), or as Xigbar called it, 'cooking up a pot of lurve'. Therefore it would be safely assumed by the heroes of this chapter that they would be residing in the kitchens, which was exactly where they were.

"Xaldin! Vexen!" Xemnas shouted, in a rather unnecessarily sharp voice, at the two, who were currently giggling and chopping carrots. They looked up at him, their giggling slowly ceasing as they noticed the expression on their leader's face. He looked anything but happy, or in the mood to giggle, so they thought that it would be best to stop before they lost a precious limb. It was one thing to upset Superior, but it was another to upset Superior in front of a lot of other members when he was already pissed off.

Xemnas's face showed complete and utter disgustion. "Xaldin! What would Dilan think of you?" he asked, only to be surprised by a loud, high-pitched squealing from the both of them. He raised an eyebrow, quietly steaming, as he awaited the stop of the giggling and an explanation. "What," he asked, teeth clenched. "Is so funny?" He had spent far too many hours searching for these 'infected' members of the organization and was not about to allow them to make fun of him behind his back for trying to help them.

"His other's name wasn't _Dilan_, silly!" Vexen exclaimed, seeming to love every bit of their conversation.

"Then what, pray tell, was it?" Xemnas asked lamely.

Both exchanged knowing looks and giggled.

"Linda!"

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ahahaha. Well, I finished the next chapter. Go me! Jk, jk. I love you guys too. D So what has happened to our poor Organization Uke—erm, I mean, XIII? You'll have to check in for the next chapter to see what happens Read and review, please! Once again, thanks to naoko144!!!

- GotxItxMemorized


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